Dear You,

 

 Between us, a vista of mangled words I tried to form              

            into the right sentences.  Striking

                         my face,

the full moon, 3:07 a.m.  Words

            amiss.  In the kitchen,

                                                crickets

keep me awake.  Calling.  But I am finished

                        writing.  You.  Streaks

of blood, on the floor.  If the cat brings me

            one more baby bird, I will

have her

                                    depawed.  My mother watched him exit

            in a dark suit.  Please burn

the letters.  Six bottom teeth, missing.  Layers

                        of skin peel away.  In a dream.  Please

burn the poems.  When I saw you.  My grandmother watched

            him exit in a dark suit.  Please.  Make me.  Stop

begging.  Words garbled.  All dead

            under my care.  The barbed wire fence.  Stopped

                        us from going

further. 

When I thought you were.  I tried to save

            the robin, the dove, the hummingbird.  You must

            know.  They

were for you.  I am ashamed.  Of myself.  For this. 

                                    For this.  Words don’t

                        mean

            to you.  Such an eyeful.  Of blinding

            silver.         You are.  

So cold, that wind. 

                                   My gone father. 

I shivered, shoulders

bare.               

                                  My dead brother.  Oh, I

knew.  And this is

                                    why.  I let you

                                    stay.  Too long.  It is the

hummingbird who squealed loudest, drowning

            in noise.  I tried to save them.  I

really tried.  You drink gin and tonic

            with a twist. 

Of lightning.

            The dark clouds

                                                           buckled.  In the open

desert.  As we ran downhill, sandstone crumbled under

                                    our feet.  When I thought I

                        could.  Love you.  Something

in my care.  Will eventually survive.  Hiking despite

thunder.  But you are not     

                        mine.  To save.  I could have been. 

            Struck.  By something

            terrible.  Again.

 

_____________________

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